It\u2019s a question we keep circling back to on the podcast and one that came into sharper focus when a tweet thread from Matthew Rex crossed our feeds. Titled \u201c11 Promises I Make as a Manager,\u201d<\/em> it quickly struck a chord. Not because it was groundbreaking, but because it was refreshingly human.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is a companion to the latest episode of the Future of Team podcast, which, if you’ve been a regular listener\/watcher, was a little different. Instead of diving into a single topic, we decided to react in real time to each of Matthew\u2019s 11 promises. What started as a casual scroll turned into a deeply personal reflection on the kind of leadership we\u2019ve experienced, and the kind we\u2019re committed to practicing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Below, we\u2019re capturing the key takeaways from that conversation. Whether you’re a founder, team lead, or aspiring people manager, this is a list worth bookmarking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why this matters:<\/strong> From the episode:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhen I cancelled a 1:1 early in my leadership career, I didn\u2019t realise the message I was sending: You\u2019re not my priority.<\/em> I learned fast.\u201d \u2014 James<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Tip for teams:<\/strong> Why this matters:<\/strong> From the episode:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI had to learn not to swing from over-structured task checklists to totally unstructured chats. A few core questions helped me find the middle ground.\u201d \u2014 James<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Suggestion:<\/strong> Why this matters:<\/strong> From the episode:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe worst meeting invite I ever got? It just said \u2018catch-up.\u2019 That\u2019s when I learned I was being made redundant.\u201d \u2014 Dee<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Do this instead:<\/strong> Why this matters:<\/strong> From the episode:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf you\u2019re someone\u2019s manager, your messages carry weight. Don\u2019t weaponise ambiguity.\u201d \u2014 Dee<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Better DM structure:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Why this matters:<\/strong> From the episode:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf it affects your identity, your work, your status, or your security\u2014say it directly. And say it before the room hears it.\u201d \u2014 James<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Practically speaking:<\/strong> Why this matters:<\/strong> From the episode:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cFresh feedback lands better. And it\u2019s less likely to feel like a grudge that\u2019s been quietly building.\u201d \u2014 Dee<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Try this instead:<\/strong> Why this matters:<\/strong> From the episode:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAs leaders, the question to ask isn\u2019t do I know where everyone is?<\/em> It\u2019s do I trust they\u2019ll deliver what matters?<\/em>\u201d \u2014 James<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n What this looks like:<\/strong> Why this matters:<\/strong> From the episode:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThis only works if your team knows what a good outcome looks like. Be clear on that and then step back.\u201d \u2014 Dee<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n If you must prescribe the \u2018how\u2019:<\/strong> Why this matters:<\/strong> From the episode:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThis one made me emotional. Because it\u2019s rare. But when it\u2019s true, it changes everything.\u201d \u2014 Dee<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Create this dynamic by:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n1. I\u2019ll never cancel our 1:1, but you can.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
The 1:1 isn\u2019t about your to-do list. It\u2019s about trust. And predictability is a huge part of that. Cancelling a 1:1, especially regularly, signals (intentionally or not) that something is more important than your team member\u2019s growth, clarity, or support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
Treat your 1:1s like the heartbeat of your team relationships. Don\u2019t cancel\u2014reschedule if you must. And if you’re not finding value in them, revisit the format before cutting the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n2. The 1:1 agenda lives in the invite but the time is yours.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
A shared, persistent agenda (even just a few bullet points) reduces the mental load and ensures important topics don\u2019t get dropped. But the conversation? That belongs to your team member.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
Try a simple recurring structure:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
3. If I schedule a meeting, I\u2019ll say what it\u2019s about.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Ambiguous invites cause anxiety. Especially for those of us with past experiences of layoffs, unclear feedback, or top-down surprise decisions. The cost of clarity is low, the cost of suspense is high.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
Write a sentence in the invite like: “Sync on progress + unblock decision on X.”<\/em>
Even a Slack DM with \u201cquick question about the launch schedule\u201d is better than a cryptic \u201chey.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n4. When I DM you, I\u2019ll say hi and<\/em> what I want.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Small talk is great, but not before<\/em> the context. Leading with a vague \u201chey\u201d in Slack just spikes cortisol. People spend the next 2 minutes wondering if they\u2019re in trouble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
\n
5. You\u2019ll hear big news from me directly\u2014not in a meeting.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
No one should find out about a reorg, a new manager, or a change in role during a company-wide Zoom call. Sharing big changes directly isn\u2019t just kind, it\u2019s professional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
Block 1:1s before you announce structural changes. Build in enough lead time so people aren\u2019t ambushed. You can\u2019t always control corporate comms, but you can<\/em> choose how you handle the people side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n6. No surprises in your performance review.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Feedback is most useful when it\u2019s timely. If someone only hears critical feedback at review time, you\u2019ve robbed them of the chance to course-correct or grow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
Create lightweight, in-the-moment feedback loops.
E.g. \u201cQuick note on that client call, what went well and one thing to refine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n7. You don\u2019t need permission to be offline.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
This is about trust. If your team feels they need to check in every time they leave their desk, you\u2019ve created surveillance culture, not performance culture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
Agree on outcomes, deadlines, and comms norms, then let people manage their time. If they\u2019re disappearing without delivering, that\u2019s a performance issue, not a time-tracking one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n8. Your work gets done your way. My focus is outcomes.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
People do their best work when they\u2019re trusted to make decisions. You hired them for their judgment so use it. Micromanaging the \u201chow\u201d kills creativity and initiative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
Do it as an offer, not a rule.
“Here\u2019s how I might approach it, feel free to use or ignore.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n9. Nobody works alone.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Individual ownership matters. But team cohesion wins. This promise reinforces that asking for help isn\u2019t a weakness and helping others isn\u2019t a distraction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n