Summary
Matthew Rex’s viral “11 Promises I Make as a Manager” sparked a candid conversation on the Future of Team podcast. In this companion post, James and Dee unpack each one, sharing personal stories, practical tips, and how they align with the Future of Team Framework. This isn’t theory, it’s a blueprint for people-first leadership.
What makes someone a great manager?
It’s a question we keep circling back to on the podcast and one that came into sharper focus when a tweet thread from Matthew Rex crossed our feeds. Titled “11 Promises I Make as a Manager,” it quickly struck a chord. Not because it was groundbreaking, but because it was refreshingly human.
This is a companion to the latest episode of the Future of Team podcast, which, if you’ve been a regular listener/watcher, was a little different. Instead of diving into a single topic, we decided to react in real time to each of Matthew’s 11 promises. What started as a casual scroll turned into a deeply personal reflection on the kind of leadership we’ve experienced, and the kind we’re committed to practicing.
Below, we’re capturing the key takeaways from that conversation. Whether you’re a founder, team lead, or aspiring people manager, this is a list worth bookmarking.
1. I’ll never cancel our 1:1, but you can.
Why this matters:
The 1:1 isn’t about your to-do list. It’s about trust. And predictability is a huge part of that. Cancelling a 1:1, especially regularly, signals (intentionally or not) that something is more important than your team member’s growth, clarity, or support.
From the episode:
“When I cancelled a 1:1 early in my leadership career, I didn’t realise the message I was sending: You’re not my priority. I learned fast.” — James
Tip for teams:
Treat your 1:1s like the heartbeat of your team relationships. Don’t cancel—reschedule if you must. And if you’re not finding value in them, revisit the format before cutting the time.
2. The 1:1 agenda lives in the invite but the time is yours.
Why this matters:
A shared, persistent agenda (even just a few bullet points) reduces the mental load and ensures important topics don’t get dropped. But the conversation? That belongs to your team member.
From the episode:
“I had to learn not to swing from over-structured task checklists to totally unstructured chats. A few core questions helped me find the middle ground.” — James
Suggestion:
Try a simple recurring structure:
- What’s going well?
- What’s blocked or unclear?
- What feedback do you have (for me or others)?
- Anything to celebrate?
3. If I schedule a meeting, I’ll say what it’s about.
Why this matters:
Ambiguous invites cause anxiety. Especially for those of us with past experiences of layoffs, unclear feedback, or top-down surprise decisions. The cost of clarity is low, the cost of suspense is high.
From the episode:
“The worst meeting invite I ever got? It just said ‘catch-up.’ That’s when I learned I was being made redundant.” — Dee
Do this instead:
Write a sentence in the invite like: “Sync on progress + unblock decision on X.”
Even a Slack DM with “quick question about the launch schedule” is better than a cryptic “hey.”
4. When I DM you, I’ll say hi and what I want.
Why this matters:
Small talk is great, but not before the context. Leading with a vague “hey” in Slack just spikes cortisol. People spend the next 2 minutes wondering if they’re in trouble.
From the episode:
“If you’re someone’s manager, your messages carry weight. Don’t weaponise ambiguity.” — Dee
Better DM structure:
- “Hey! Quick Q about the timeline on your landing page, got 2 mins?”
- “Morning! Curious to hear your take on this client email, can I run it past you?”
5. You’ll hear big news from me directly—not in a meeting.
Why this matters:
No one should find out about a reorg, a new manager, or a change in role during a company-wide Zoom call. Sharing big changes directly isn’t just kind, it’s professional.
From the episode:
“If it affects your identity, your work, your status, or your security—say it directly. And say it before the room hears it.” — James
Practically speaking:
Block 1:1s before you announce structural changes. Build in enough lead time so people aren’t ambushed. You can’t always control corporate comms, but you can choose how you handle the people side.
6. No surprises in your performance review.
Why this matters:
Feedback is most useful when it’s timely. If someone only hears critical feedback at review time, you’ve robbed them of the chance to course-correct or grow.
From the episode:
“Fresh feedback lands better. And it’s less likely to feel like a grudge that’s been quietly building.” — Dee
Try this instead:
Create lightweight, in-the-moment feedback loops.
E.g. “Quick note on that client call, what went well and one thing to refine.”
7. You don’t need permission to be offline.
Why this matters:
This is about trust. If your team feels they need to check in every time they leave their desk, you’ve created surveillance culture, not performance culture.
From the episode:
“As leaders, the question to ask isn’t do I know where everyone is? It’s do I trust they’ll deliver what matters?” — James
What this looks like:
Agree on outcomes, deadlines, and comms norms, then let people manage their time. If they’re disappearing without delivering, that’s a performance issue, not a time-tracking one.
8. Your work gets done your way. My focus is outcomes.
Why this matters:
People do their best work when they’re trusted to make decisions. You hired them for their judgment so use it. Micromanaging the “how” kills creativity and initiative.
From the episode:
“This only works if your team knows what a good outcome looks like. Be clear on that and then step back.” — Dee
If you must prescribe the ‘how’:
Do it as an offer, not a rule.
“Here’s how I might approach it, feel free to use or ignore.”
9. Nobody works alone.
Why this matters:
Individual ownership matters. But team cohesion wins. This promise reinforces that asking for help isn’t a weakness and helping others isn’t a distraction.
From the episode:
“This one made me emotional. Because it’s rare. But when it’s true, it changes everything.” — Dee
Create this dynamic by:
- Celebrating cross-team support.
- Creating systems to surface blockers early (like daily async check-ins).
- Normalising “Can someone pair with me on this?”
10. You can skip-level and talk to my manager. I won’t get weird.
Why this matters:
Leaders who fear being skipped are usually hiding something or scared of being found out. Creating visibility and trust across layers shouldn’t feel threatening.
From the episode:
“Healthy skip-levels are signs of trust, not betrayal.” — James
Want to make this real?
Encourage skip-levels as part of onboarding. Frame them as part of team development, not escalation. And if someone goes above you with feedback? Don’t punish them, learn from it.
11. Credit will always be yours, not mine.
Why this matters:
People know when their work is co-opted or erased. Attribution is a leadership practice, not a nice-to-have. Public recognition builds loyalty, pride, and trust.
From the episode:
“When you minimise someone’s contribution, intentionally or not, you break something important. It’s hard to get that back.” — Dee
Do this better:
- Name people in team wins.
- Use “we” generously but specify the “who” too.
- In leadership updates, always end with: “And a huge shoutout to…”
Final Word
These 11 promises aren’t revolutionary. But in most workplaces, they’re rare. That’s why they matter.
They call us to a higher standard. To be the kind of manager we wish we had and the kind of leader our teams deserve.
We’ve built the Future of Team Framework around the belief that great culture doesn’t happen by accident. It’s built. Choice by choice. Promise by promise.
Which of these promises are you ready to make?
